I think that no matter our age, we are always just trying to figure life out. It is easy to romanticize other people's lives, but no one has it all figured out. Ever. Life is a moving target.
There are thousands of ways to spend our days, build our lives. But the only person who really knows what we want is us. We try different things, learn and grow from the experience, and decide if we want to continue that or change. Society and capitalism define success in a very neat, checked-box kind of way. Maybe that fulfills some people, maybe they never bothered to ask themselves what they actually thought. Regardless, finding a tribe that sees things the same way as you helps enormously. Because indecision and confusion are parts of the path. But having people to talk to about these things, that is priceless.
Wow, Lisa, this is such an awesome comment! I have a feeling we’d be great friends. Very similar views as you here.
I’ve been reflecting lately what I mean by success, & it’s honestly continuing to get more clear to me. It’s about working to make more sense out of the world, building connections with people who I synergize & share a similar frequency, & having internal alignment with my outside world. Of course, this means my basic needs are met too. But, after we have that piece, it truly doesn’t get better than this imo!
This is causing me to have to say “no” quite a bit to all these pesky temptations, like settling for something just because it temporarily feels better than exploring the unknown. One of the main reasons I set out on this sailing adventure to begin with was to get more comfortable with this, yet now that I’m off the boat, it’s so tempting, “just go baccccccck Cory…..”
I couldn’t agree more about finding our tribe, Lisa. I used to hear all the time, “Water seeks its own level.” It’s so true. Who we surround ourselves by becomes what we believe is possible for us. And I personally need to believe it’s possible to organize myself around something other than the normal metrics.
I actually think that we would be great friends too!🤗
Not following society's "prescribed path of success" is not for the weak of heart. It takes courage. Because doubt will always come calling. Finding people like you on Substack has helped me enormously on my journey.
But before this platform, Martha Beck's FINDING YOUR OWN NORTH STAR was my walking stick. She says in her book that after you make the leap, the discomfort is going to make you want to go back. And you are not going to know what the hell is going on. I can attest that she was right on both accounts!🤣🤣🤣
This liminal space is hard for our lizard brains. We want certainty. I left my old life two years ago now, and I am still not sure what my future holds, except that I am now operating from the concept of ENOUGH. I do not want to do a job that drains me to buy stuff that I don't need. It's the hamster wheel of delusion!
Still trying to figure it out! Still following along on your journey! 🤗
Amazing, Lisa!! Thanks for this. I'm so happy that Corey & I had the insight to say, "NO MATTER WHAT, we will live on this damn boat for 1 year! Even if we're miserable!" haha. We weren't miserable. But I think you're so right that there's gonna be an urge early on to walk back on the radical thing we decided to do.
I'm obsessed with this idea right now that the certain path, even with all its faults, is still so appealing to people vs. the uncertain one that has some chance of a life beyond your wildest dreams. I think there are ways to build more certainty (or confidence?) into the uncertain one. Like prepping financially, planning out the first couple steps, having a good network, having reasonable expectations, etc. But dang, I'll never cease to be amazed how hard it can be to take the "road less traveled."
It absolutely gets better with experience though, right?!
Like I said, Martha Beck's book helped me enormously because there was a complete chapter on what happens after the decision is made and you are sitting uncomfortably in the aftermath. I definitely believe that having the right combination going in (runway money, realistic expectations, great support group) is extremely important. Otherwise, you turn around and find yourself right back where you didn't want to be.🤷🏼♀️ And that's just a familiar hell.🤣🤣🤣🤣
It is not a simple process, by any means. I just wrote in another comment that I am finding that alignment is anything but linear, and that's quite ironic. It is just taking one step at a time until it feels like home.
What a beautiful analogy. It's inspiring when you find your life reflected in your everyday experiences. And it's sad to think that young woman doesn't feel like she has any options. But these are the paths we choose.
Yes, indeed!! Something tells me though that she’s going to keep exploring & learning & realizing that the path is never quite over. I remember thinking that my life was done like 1000 times back in my teens & early 20s. But I’m sure it’s from the lack of inspiration & personal experience. We don’t know how expansive the world truly is, nor how much our lives will continue to reveal amazing surprises.
Great piece, Cory.
I think that no matter our age, we are always just trying to figure life out. It is easy to romanticize other people's lives, but no one has it all figured out. Ever. Life is a moving target.
There are thousands of ways to spend our days, build our lives. But the only person who really knows what we want is us. We try different things, learn and grow from the experience, and decide if we want to continue that or change. Society and capitalism define success in a very neat, checked-box kind of way. Maybe that fulfills some people, maybe they never bothered to ask themselves what they actually thought. Regardless, finding a tribe that sees things the same way as you helps enormously. Because indecision and confusion are parts of the path. But having people to talk to about these things, that is priceless.
Wow, Lisa, this is such an awesome comment! I have a feeling we’d be great friends. Very similar views as you here.
I’ve been reflecting lately what I mean by success, & it’s honestly continuing to get more clear to me. It’s about working to make more sense out of the world, building connections with people who I synergize & share a similar frequency, & having internal alignment with my outside world. Of course, this means my basic needs are met too. But, after we have that piece, it truly doesn’t get better than this imo!
This is causing me to have to say “no” quite a bit to all these pesky temptations, like settling for something just because it temporarily feels better than exploring the unknown. One of the main reasons I set out on this sailing adventure to begin with was to get more comfortable with this, yet now that I’m off the boat, it’s so tempting, “just go baccccccck Cory…..”
I couldn’t agree more about finding our tribe, Lisa. I used to hear all the time, “Water seeks its own level.” It’s so true. Who we surround ourselves by becomes what we believe is possible for us. And I personally need to believe it’s possible to organize myself around something other than the normal metrics.
I actually think that we would be great friends too!🤗
Not following society's "prescribed path of success" is not for the weak of heart. It takes courage. Because doubt will always come calling. Finding people like you on Substack has helped me enormously on my journey.
But before this platform, Martha Beck's FINDING YOUR OWN NORTH STAR was my walking stick. She says in her book that after you make the leap, the discomfort is going to make you want to go back. And you are not going to know what the hell is going on. I can attest that she was right on both accounts!🤣🤣🤣
This liminal space is hard for our lizard brains. We want certainty. I left my old life two years ago now, and I am still not sure what my future holds, except that I am now operating from the concept of ENOUGH. I do not want to do a job that drains me to buy stuff that I don't need. It's the hamster wheel of delusion!
Still trying to figure it out! Still following along on your journey! 🤗
Amazing, Lisa!! Thanks for this. I'm so happy that Corey & I had the insight to say, "NO MATTER WHAT, we will live on this damn boat for 1 year! Even if we're miserable!" haha. We weren't miserable. But I think you're so right that there's gonna be an urge early on to walk back on the radical thing we decided to do.
I'm obsessed with this idea right now that the certain path, even with all its faults, is still so appealing to people vs. the uncertain one that has some chance of a life beyond your wildest dreams. I think there are ways to build more certainty (or confidence?) into the uncertain one. Like prepping financially, planning out the first couple steps, having a good network, having reasonable expectations, etc. But dang, I'll never cease to be amazed how hard it can be to take the "road less traveled."
It absolutely gets better with experience though, right?!
Hmmmmm....🤣🤣🤣
Like I said, Martha Beck's book helped me enormously because there was a complete chapter on what happens after the decision is made and you are sitting uncomfortably in the aftermath. I definitely believe that having the right combination going in (runway money, realistic expectations, great support group) is extremely important. Otherwise, you turn around and find yourself right back where you didn't want to be.🤷🏼♀️ And that's just a familiar hell.🤣🤣🤣🤣
It is not a simple process, by any means. I just wrote in another comment that I am finding that alignment is anything but linear, and that's quite ironic. It is just taking one step at a time until it feels like home.
What a beautiful analogy. It's inspiring when you find your life reflected in your everyday experiences. And it's sad to think that young woman doesn't feel like she has any options. But these are the paths we choose.
Yes, indeed!! Something tells me though that she’s going to keep exploring & learning & realizing that the path is never quite over. I remember thinking that my life was done like 1000 times back in my teens & early 20s. But I’m sure it’s from the lack of inspiration & personal experience. We don’t know how expansive the world truly is, nor how much our lives will continue to reveal amazing surprises.
I hope she does. I wish I knew back then what I’ve learned over time. Travel expands our mind and our world.